REVIEW: Destory All Humans!

Destroy All Humans!

Platform: Xbox (reviewed), Playstation 2
Genre: Action
Developer: Pandemic
Publisher: THQ

“On giant step on mankind…”

From the moment my senses first encountered Destroy All Humans!, I was in awe. Not because of the graphics (there is horrible draw-in), and not because the game broke any innovative records. No, DAH! is a straight forward action game with similarities to the ever-popular Grand Theft Auto III and shares characteristics with other open-ended games, but without so much of the open-endedness.

So, why then did I absolutely fall in love with all things DAH!? Well, for starters, Cryptosporidium-137, or Crypto, for short. He is the wise-cracking, yet lovable, Jack Nicholson voice rip-off star of the game. The voice is so Nicholson that if I didn’t know better, upon first hearing Crypto speak, I would swear Jacky boy was moonlighting as a voice actor. Take that for what it’s worth – be it good or bad – but I found it hilariously refreshing.

Crypto’s genuine child-on-Christmas-morning glee when he receives a new weapon and mission are also very charismatic. It’s too bad there weren’t more of those cool weapons to choose from, but the few at your disposal will have you smiling. Crypto starts out with his trusty Zap-O-Matic. For instance, using the Anal-Probe on the innocent civilians really never does grow old. However, for those moments when you need to get the job done without toying around, the weapon of choice is most definitely the Disintegrator Ray. It allows Crypto to fry his opponent quickly and in as few as one to two shots after a few upgrades. For the bigger jobs such as tanks or robots, the Ion-Detonator distributes bombs to cause much larger desctructions.

While the game does offer free roam and side-quests, the “awareness” meter ramps up in a hurry leaving you to constantly dodge missile attacks from the army even after only a few witnessed brain stem steals. Brain stem steals? Yes, you read that correctly.

And anal probes and brain stems aren't the only wackiness you'll encounter as Crypto. Walking in the vicinity of civilians is like stepping into the 1950's. There are so many funny movie-related and decade-related moments it is pure comedic gold and will surely put a smile on your face. It even had me wanting to watch old science-fiction movies just to keep the vibe going.

With the tongue-in-cheek anti-American government theme coupled with the innocence (and arguably ignorant bliss) of the 50's, walking around zapping brain stems as an alien after landing his spaceship on a family farm, doesn't really seem that odd after all.

4 out of 5